Taming the Tongue

10/07/2009 by John Marsden.

Why Must I Control My Tongue? 

Sometimes we feel that we have the right to say anything we want any time

we want. However, we have to realize the impact our words can have on

others.

What are some of the negative ways we can use our words? (Gossip, lying, dirty

jokes.)  James 3:3-4³When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. ⁴Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go.  

1. My Tongue Directs Where I Go 

A small piece of round metal can be placed in the mouth of a thousand pound

horse make the animal run, trot, jump, or turn.

The Queen Mary is a luxury cruiser with over 3 acres of recreational deck space.

Compared to the size of the vessel the rudder is only a small part of it, yet it

can control exactly where the ship goes.

How does the tongue steer our lives? How can our words determine if we get to

go out with friends or stay home? How have you experienced your tongue

controlling your life?

In life the words you use and the way you use them will largely influence your

friends, who you marry, even your occupation. James 3:5-8Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. ⁶The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
⁷All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, ⁸but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

2. My Tongue Destroys What I Have 

Think about some of the great forest fires in California in the recent years.

 Some of the fires started with a cigarette tossed from a car going down the

interstate. It only took a spark to cause billions in destruction.

Our tongues can cause similar destruction to ourselves and others. The tongue

can corrupt the whole person.

What have you lost because of your tongue? (Friends, parent relationship,

certain privileges.)

We have tamed all kinds of animals, but we can’t tame the tongue. Why is it so

difficult?

Why can’t we just decide to use positive words from here on out?

James says the tongue is a restless evil. The word “restless” is literally

‘unsettled’ or ‘vacillating.’ It is rendered in 1:8 as “unstable.” The picture is of a

snake that is agitated and about to strike sending it’s venom into it’s victim.

This simply speaks of the deadly destructive power of the tongue if it is not

brought under control. Since we cannot do this by ourselves, we must ask God

for his help. I want to share with you a prayer I found: “Dear God, so far today

I’ve done alright, I haven’t gossiped, lost my temper, been nasty, or selfish or

over indulgent. But in a few minutes God, I’m going to get out of bed and from

then on, I’m going to need all the help I can get.” (Owen Bourgaize).   James 3:9-12⁹With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. ¹⁰Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. ¹¹Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? ¹²My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.   3. My Tongues Displays Who I Am  Our words are a dead giveaway to who we are. James uses nature as an example. The fig tree produces figs - period. A water source produces fresh or salt water, but not both. The challenge is that our mouths have the ability to produce contrasting results. We can bless God, or we can curse man. We can be nice to our friends, but mean to our teachers. We can sing a praise song, or tell a dirty joke. James warns, “This ought not be like this.”

Ultimately the mouth reveals the heart. If we are using our words for dual purposes the truth is we really don’t have a relationship with God like we think we do.   Matthew 12:34b-37For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. ³⁵The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. ³⁶But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. ³⁷For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” How does that passage make you feel about your words? 

Realize… The Tongue is Powerful 

The key is learning how to use your words to benefit others and yourself for

God’s glory.  Here are some percentages to use as a rough guideline for How to Use My Tongue to Build Up Christ’s Body 

5% Admonish

Gal. 6:1 Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should

restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.

Admonishing is not the right to let people have it. You don’t try to correct

someone out of anger, but out of love. 

15% Challenge

Hebrews 10:24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love

and good deeds.

Spurring means to prod positively; to get someone excited. You spur a horse to

get it moving, but not to draw blood or to hurt it.How can we positively challenge each other in Christ?

80% Encourage

Hebrews 3:13 But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so

that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.Encouragement is not a random activity, but a daily one.How has someone encouraged you lately? If you want to tame your tongue as I do then let me encourage you to think about some speech therapy. Before you speak something that may be harmful ask yourself these five questions:

First, IS IT TRUE? Is what you’re going to speak the truth? If not, STOP.

 

If it is, second, IS IT NECESSARY? Jesus said you’re going to be judged for every careless word. Bite your tongue more often. There are so many things that we say that are not necessary.

 

Third, IS IT BENEFICIAL? Is what you’re going to say going to build someone up or tear them down? Is going to do good or is going to hurt someone?

 

Fourth, ask yourself, DO I HAVE PERMISSION TO SHARE IT? I’m sure you all know people who you consider friends who you can tell anything to, because you know it will stop there. But we also all know people who are the first to spread that news all over town. Before you speak think about what kind of friend you’re being.

 

Finally, ask yourself, IS MY MOTIVE PURE? Why are you saying what you’re saying? Most of the time our gossip is for selfish purposes. We want something to talk about. We want others to think we’re important. Do you know that need you have to gossip comes from sin. Give it up.

 

Have a grerat day and watch you tongue.

John 

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